Some Advice for Muslim Women

Assalaamu'alaykum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuh, I watched this beautiful lecture from Shaikh Khalid Yasin about Some Advice for Muslim Women when he visited Sydney for his Da'wah Tour. Masha ALLAAH brother Khalid Yasin is a former Christian which he is now very active on doing da'wah (spreading the message about Islaam). He is an Executive Director of ITI (Islamic Teaching Institute). This lecture could bring me in tears again and again because of embarassment and fear to ALLAAH Subhanaahu wa ta'alaa. How tiny we are... How ungrateful we are... Bismillaahirrahmaanirrahiim ( In the Name of ALLAAH, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful) The advice began on reminding the Muslim women about their behavior, their responsibilities and their rights. At the age of fitnaah, immorality, liberalism and confusion; Muslim women should keep themselves pure, fulfil the obligation to obey ALLAAH, to study Quran, to do the sunnah of RasulALLAAH SAW, to serve their husband without complaints, to raise their kids upon the adaab of Islaam and to engage in tazkiyah of the community. There are some issues that had been discussed because the issues are constantly come up. One example of the issue is when the Muslim women came to RasulALLAAH SAW and complained about their husbands. RasulALLAAH SAW said: "These are not the Best among you" What is that mean? The ulamaa said that there is wisdom behind it which could be the women who complained were not the Best OR the men who being complained OR both of the women and the men. Even you have legitimate reason to complain, ALLAAH and RasulALLAAH SAW doesn't like it. Of course you can bring the matter to be complained to the waliyyatul 'amr (community leader) and not gossipping between another Muslim woman. Please sisters, do not complain about your husband NOR your house NOR your kids NOR your foods to ANYONE! A good example is a story about Jamilah (the wife of Thabit bin Qais). She said to RasulALLAAH SAW: "Yaa RasulALLAAH SAW, this man is among the best of the Muslim. But I am afraid if I remain marry to him, I will damage my religion." This was the first Khula' (Back door Divorce) in Islam. So in Islam, the doors of divorce can be through front door which is done by the man, who gave the dowry; and back door, the woman given the dowry by giving the dowry back to the husband. (H.R Bukhari) The behavior of Muslim women, one of the issue is about 'awrah of the Muslim women. What is her 'awrah? Her 'awrah is her entire body specifically she has her right to show "what is ordinarily appeared from her" which is her face and her hand; not even the feet, these what some ulamaa said. Some ulamaa said and this is the majority of the ulamaa said: "Not even the face because the face is a place of her beauty." So if she covers her face, she is actually doing a favour to herself. Then we can't say that it is wajiib for her to cover her face but it is a blessing (Mustahabb) for her. So a Muslim woman must cover her entire body which it doesn't mean that you put hyjab on your head and you are wearing jeans. There are conditions of it: 1. It must not reveal the shape of her body 2. It must not transparant 3. It must not imitate the men 4. It must not imitate people of jahiliyyah e.g a Muslim woman wearing a niqaab with a designer name like Christian Dior so she wears a niqaab with a cross on it; secondly she plucked her eyebrows. This is haraam both for the woman who is the plucker and the woman whom eyebrows are plucked. 5. Do not put perfume 6. One of the 'awrah of Muslim woman is her voice as well. It is narrated that Aisha ra. after RasulALLAAH SAW died, when the companions of RasulALLAAH took hadith or ahkam (law) from her, she used to put her finger into her mouth to disguise her voice, to not caused fitnaah. Note: She was 18 years old when RasulALLAAH SAW died. So please sisters, do your speech straight forward. Do not leave any room for fooling around. It is maybe less famous that wives should not do anything in the house. Her main duty is to look after her kids. It is NOT her job to clean up the house, to cook the dishes, to sew her husband's clothes, to do the ironing, not even lift the glass for the husband. But if she does, it is a blessing/nafil for her. She should do that to obtain her husband's pleasure. For the husband, please be grateful when she does these for you. Buy her gifts, give relief to her. Sisters, make your husband relax. Do not attack him with so many questions and demanding i.e where is the money; who you were talking to, etc. If you leave yourself doing this, you are doing fitnaah for yourself. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are, how smart you are - There are so many fish in the sea! Sisters, when you are able to marry a decent man, healhty, fulfilling your needs, be grateful. Now let's talk about the ratio between men and women. It's happening that 1 man is comparing to 2.5 women. Then what if the man is homosexual? The ratio becomes 1:3.5 Then what if the man is playboy? The ratio becomes 1:4.5 Then what if the man is using drugs and alcohol? The ratio becomes 1:5.5 Then what if the man is in the jail? The ratio becomes 1:6.5 Then what if the man is in the war? The ratio becomes 1:7.5 Then what if the man is confuse whether he should be male or female? The ratio becomes 1:8.5 Then what if the man is an irresponsible male which still live under his parents? The ratio becomes 1:9.5 So sisters, if a woman is able to marry a man, what will happen with those women? Should they become lesbian or should they struggle themselves with their life alone? (This matter will be discussed further) Sisters, when your husband is not so decent, polish him up by talk to him nicely, treat him nicely, do not complain to him, encourage him to be with other Muslim brothers. Note: But what mostly happened is if the man is not praying, the woman is not praying as well *Na'udzubillaahi min dzalik* The responsibility of Muslim women is to guard herself, her kids, her house, and her husband's secrets during her husband's absences. It is narrated that RasulALLAAH SAW said: "Every one of you is a guardian and he/she will be asked what is under his/her responsibility." ALLAAH creates women and men from one single soul. It is like one glass of water, you divide half of the water to make a coffee and another half to make tea. Women and men are different on their anatomy, on their role, on their rights, and on their social responsibility. But they are equal in front of ALLAAH regarding their taqwaa (piousness). So sisters, if you forget about this... you forget about your role. All the issue about the same rights between men and women in the west is just a dillusion. Your roles as a Muslim woman: raising your kids and cultivating your home since you are the front line home defense as your kids are the next generation. It doesn't mean that you CAN NOT work but you have to make sure that the job doesn't put you in jeopardy - that the job doesn't compromise your responsibility - that the job doesn't compromise your hyjab - that the job doesn't undermind your family. It is better for Muslim women to stay at her house: teach Quran and decent behavior of Islam to her kids. It is much better. Sisters, your responsibility is to pursue knowledge as you are the teacher in the house and your husband should provide the atmosphere around your house. Most men don't have time so if they don't have time to teach you, don't blame your husband whilst you have Quran in your house, a set of Bukhari Muslim in your house. Seek the knowledge from another sister who is knowledgable in religion, spent 1-2 hours a week with her. Sisters, as a Muslim woman you are the first support of the community. What can you do about it? Form a PROACTIVE community. Go to Imam thru his wife, what contribution you can make for the community, maybe raise the money, offer help to clean the Masjid once a week, make sure that cleanliness and hygiene of the Masjid is always there. Sisters, among yourself: give advice to one another. If one sister came to you and complain about her husband, leave this matter because it doesn't concern you NOT that you don't care about her but you are not a marriage councillor NOR a garbage can. RasulALLAAH SAW said: "Leave anything that doesn't concern you." It is narrated to another hadith that RasulALLAAH SAW said: "I don't want any of you talking negatively about another muslim so when I see that brother, my heart is change (about him)." Sisters, engage yourself in da'wah. There are many misconceptions about Muslim women. Who should speak up about this? It is women themselves. So you should seek knowledge and engage yourself in da'wah by: * form a group of da'wah committe * reform and inform the muslims * clarify and invite non-muslims * propagate the Islamic message Sisters, be aware of deviation, be aware of chauvinism, be aware of personal interest and be aware of rebellion. Be aware of rebellion, one case is that if a sister talks against the wisdom of plural marriage. By doing so, she is causing fitnaah and acting rebellious by underminding the wisdom behind the hukm (law) of ALLAAH SWT. It is not then the women CAN NOT be jealous. She is normal to be jealous, it is part of her nature but she needs to control that. RasulALLAAH SAW said: " A woman who is able to control her jealousy has the same reward for the man who is able to go for jihaad and control his fear." Masha ALLAAH... None of the Ummahatul Mu'minin (Mothers of Believers) clapped and sang when RasulALLAAH took another wife. They were jealous but they reformed themselves and control their jealousy. There is a famous hadith: "None of you is a truly believer until you love your brothers/sisters like he/she loves himself/herself." At the end, akhiraah is much better for you than what is present. May this lecture extracted from Shaikh Khalid Yasin bring benefit for you. It is an advice for myself as well and may ALLAAH guide us to the right path, be a good wife and be a good mother for our kids and bring benefit for our ummaah. Aamin. Wassalaamu'alaykum warahmatullaahi wabarakaatuh.....